Bravery is like a muscle you strengthen.
For the last few weeks, we’ve been talking about how to create your own happiness. The first step is to be okay with being alone. The second is to be at peace with yourself. Which leads us to the third step.
Step Three: Be Brave
It takes a lot of bravery to venture out on your own, try new things, meet new people, and build a life of happiness. We must never understate that bravery—even the “normal” kind of bravery, the everyday kind of bravery—is a big deal.
Joining a new gym is brave, and it matters.
Smiling at strangers in the grocery store is brave, and it matters.
Going to a bible study at your new church is brave, and it matters.
Every time you choose to do something new, even if it terrifies you, or makes you uncomfortable, or makes you feel vulnerable—every time you do that, you are being brave. You are taking a risk. You are chasing your biggest, best, boldest life.
It takes a lot of bravery to build a life of happiness.
I used to only go to new places and try new things if I had someone to go with, a close friend or a fellow missionary. I couldn’t fathom why I would ever want to go somewhere alone (ironic, because I am the biggest introvert), and I couldn’t fathom that I ever would.
But two years ago, I moved back to Atlanta. I had to learn how to get my legs back under me. I had to learn how to be a real adult in this city, not “just” a missionary with very little income and a community of other missionaries to do things with.
And it was scary!
I had to learn how to take walks by myself. I had to learn how to preserve my own sanity by taking myself to coffee shops to read a book—anything to get out of my tiny apartment.
I had to learn how to do this whole gym thing all by myself because I had only gone with friends before.
I even went to the Packers bar in Norcross all by myself for a Thursday night game against Chicago.
In theory, this was a Very Brave Moment.
If there is one thing you need to know about me, it’s that I am a diehard Green Bay Packers fan. And one thing you need to know about the Green Bay Packers, and thus, their fans: our oldest, most storied rival is the Chicago Bears.
Packers fans never miss a game against Chicago.
So on a Thursday night, my body full of endorphins after a workout at the gym, I had the insane courage to go to the Packers bar.
By myself.
In theory, this was a Very Brave Moment. But in actuality, even though I somehow was brave enough to drive myself to the bar, once I got inside, I was too scared to actually go to the bar and order a beer, so I fearfully lurked in the corner by the ice maker and the trophy case. At one point, a drunk woman wrapped her arm around me, lamenting the stupidity of men. A few minutes later, she pushed her boyfriend over, nearly knocking over my table as well. (This was terrifying.) The game was soon delayed by lightning, so I ended up getting to watch very little football at all. But a waiter finally saw me and brought me a beer and French fries, and I learned that my bravery does, in fact, have limits.
Even though this little adventure didn’t go quite as I had imagined, going to the bar was never the point. Doing something new, challenging, and a little scary, all so that I would be a little braver, was the point.
Bravery is like a muscle we have to exercise. The more we exercise it, the stronger it gets.
So do things that challenge you. Do things—even small things—that make you a little bit braver every day.
And while you’re doing all this bravery, or thinking about it, don’t forget to also extend yourself plenty of grace.
Trying new things is hard. And exercising your bravery muscles is exhausting. Some days you’re going to just need to come home, snuggle up in your PJs, and read a good book. Don’t forget that it’s a journey, and a process, and you’re not going to be superhero-brave overnight.
But I promise, every time you practice bravery and try a new thing, you will feel so proud of yourself. And the temporary discomfort will be one hundred percent worth it.
Do This to Create Your Own Happiness:
Practice #1: Do Something Brave
This should not surprise you….but this week, do something brave! Only you know what that really means for you, but here are some ideas:
- Sign up for the cycling class you’ve always thought about doing but have been too scared to try.
- Go out to lunch (or just coffee) by yourself one day.
- Go to the bible study at your new church.
- Make eye contact with a stranger at the grocery store and say hi. (But don’t be creepy about it….)
Whatever “a little past your comfort zone” looks like, try to live there three times this week.
And if you’re feeling really brave, tell me about your bravery adventures in the comments below!
Practice #2: Give Yourself Some Grace
I know, I know, totally repeating myself over here. But if you’re anything like me, you need this reminder early and often! You don’t have to do everything perfectly, friend. In fact, you don’t have to do anything perfectly, including being brave. As with everything, the journey is more important than the destination. All that matters here is that you are trying and trying deserves a lot of grace.
Practice #3: Celebrate Your Bravery!
Did you conquer a fear this week? That deserves a treat! Whether that looks like an extra cup of coffee, or dinner at Chipotle, or an extra episode of your favorite show on Netflix (okay, maybe these are all my favorite treats…), your bravery deserves to be celebrated! Don’t be afraid to give yourself a little reward/encouragement in the form of something special you wouldn’t normally do for yourself. It doesn’t have to cost money or involve sugar or caffeine. Give yourself a little pat on the back, toot your own horn a bit, and CELEBRATE! You are doing the hard work of growing some new bravery, creating your own happiness, and surrendering for greatness!
