“[…] seek peace and follow after it.”
1 Peter 3:11
Last week, we started a journey toward creating our own happiness. We talked about how the first key is to do this is to be okay with being alone, and what it might take to do that. Today, we pick up where we left off and jump right in to step number two.
Step Two: Be at peace with yourself.
This is kind of like what we talked about last week, but it’s a little different.
If you’re going to be okay with your own company, you have to have a very strong sense of peace about yourself. You have to stop the negative self-talk and nit-picky self-criticism. That’s having peace about yourself.
But even more than that, if you’re going to be happy and create your own happiness, you have to be at peace with yourself.
Your whole self, flaws and all.
It’s another thing entirely to be peaceful even with the things you don’t really love about yourself—especially things you can’t change.
For me, the first big step in being okay with being alone was to silence my inner critic. But I had to take it a step further to also be at peace with myself.
It’s one thing to silence your negativity toward yourself. It’s another thing entirely to be peaceful even with the things you don’t really like about yourself—especially things you can’t change.
I know how easy it is to dwell on what we don’t like about ourselves. It’s easy to fixate on belly fat and back fat and arm fat. It’s easy to stare holes in our acne or thinning hair. It’s easy to hate how disorganized we are or how bad we are at cooking.
For me, though, being at peace with myself looks at all of me—what I’m proud of and what I wish would be different—and learns how to appreciate all of it.
Being at peace with myself comes to a quiet place inside me where I can admit I am who I am and I am good enough.
This doesn’t mean that you should feign peace with yourself and give up on ever growing in new ways.
This isn’t a free pass on actually doing the work to become a better, braver person.
God made you this way on purpose.
But it is the opportunity to come to a place where you can see that who you are—good parts and bad—is who you are, and for whatever reason, God made you this way on purpose. He will accompany you in the growth times when you learn how to fight back against your weaknesses and vices. But he gave you those things on purpose! Why? Because overcoming them will make you holy. Working to overcome them will make you brave. And this journey will make you more like Him.
So relish in yourself. Luxuriate in yourself. Rejoice in yourself, because no one is quite like you. And that is a really rad thing!
Do These Things to Create Your Own Happiness:
Practice #1: Celebrate Your Uniqueness
Identify three things that make you uniquely you. Don’t qualify them as “good” or “bad,” just list them. What are some ways you can celebrate this uniqueness?
Practice #2: Give Yourself Some Grace
This was one of last week’s practices, too, but it’s one that bears repeating again and again. To be at peace with yourself requires a LOT of grace. Spend some time in prayer and talk to Jesus about whatever you’re struggling with, and let his love remind you of your goodness, even if you’re struggling. Don’t forget that “struggle” DOES NOT equal “unloved”!
Practice #3: Create a Growth Chart
Maybe not your typical growth chart…
What is one area you want to grow in? Maybe you want to learn how to cook, paint, or draw. Maybe you want to learn healthier eating
This week, consider what it might take to make that growth a reality.
Maybe you need to sign up for a class or call a counselor. Maybe you need to start even smaller, with saving money for the class or the counselor. Whatever it is, take some time to honestly assess where you are and what it might take to get to where you want to be.
Nothing is off limits or weird or impossible.
You just have to start with honesty and give yourself grace.
